Never (?) Give Up
Stay the Course or No?
We’ve all been there—that point when it seems like you’ve failed and there’s no way to overcome the challenge or reach the goal. You’re doomed, you’re done, kaput. There’s a wide range of responses to such situations.
If there’s truly no hope can you accept defeat and move on, or do you go down protesting and defiant?
I had just graduated from high school in ‘65, and Uncle Bruce and Aunt Virginia invited me to spend the summer with them. Their four sons and I loved playing board and card games. Each of us was competitive, some more fiercely than others. Although he was the youngest, Scott (age seven) would announce who had the next turn, remind us about game rules, and oversee rent payments and card compliance. He was banker, of course.
Our Monopoly game was particularly intense one day. An unlucky throw of the dice could bankrupt any of us—most squares had multiple houses or a hotel.
On his previous turn, Scott had missed the “Go to Jail” square and landed on Pacific Avenue. He was feeling lucky. All he had to do was avoid Park Place and Boardwalk. He threw the dice: a three and a five. Scott stared wide-eyed at the dice, the hotel on Boardwalk, then his cash pile and stack of mortgaged properties. There was no way he could pay the rent. He had lost.
The defeat was more than his young ego could manage. Without warning, he flipped the board. We sat stunned, staring at tokens, houses, hotels, Community Chest and Chance cards strewn across the kitchen table. He stomped out of the room, bare feet slapping the linoleum floor. Game over.
Do you confront a seemingly impossible challenge head-on, remaining patient and determined to succeed?
In March 2021, an Evergreen Marine Corp container ship four football fields long got stuck in the Suez Canal, blocking that critical trade route. The situation seemed impossible to rectify, but the problem was resolved a few days later. Engineers executed a plan to free the tanker using tug boats and also construction equipment to dredge out canal mud one scoop at a time.
When I saw this photo, something in my brain pinged and I remembered a fun Frank Sinatra song popular in the early sixties: High Hopes. It celebrates perseverance and belief in overcoming the odds.
“Just what makes that little old ant, think he can move a rubber tree plant? Everyone knows an ant … can’t … move a rubber tree plant. But he’s got high hopes, high hopes. Whoops! There goes another rubber tree plant.”
When you know that reaching a goal will be difficult but proceed with blinders on, ignoring all cautionary signs?
Enter “flip-the-board” Scott again—forty years post Monopoly loss. Our plan was to summit Mt. Bierstadt, a 14er peak an hour out of Denver. The date was July 31 so we expected mild, sunny weather all the way to the top. As we drove to the trailhead, we discovered the weather Gods had a different plan. Snow? In late July?
The clouds had mostly dissipated by the time we started hiking. The grass was green with wildflowers along the lower trail. But when we hit snowline about 300 ft from the top, the weather turned. Clouds moved in again, limiting visibility. The wind picked up and it began to snow. With no trace of a trail to follow, Scott and I decided to press on, ignoring that we were in semi-blizzard conditions. We couldn’t get lost, we thought, our direction was clear: go up until we can’t, then descend until we can see which way to the trailhead
We did reach the summit, but a wiser choice would have been to say, “Not now, not today—the mountain will always be here.” A decision whether to stay the course or abandon an effort can be tough yet important if risks are involved. I had packed extra layers and gloves, but not for a snowstorm. By the time we found our way down to green grass terrain and the trailhead, I was thoroughly chilled and shivering. If either of us had slipped on a snowy rock and twisted or broken an ankle and been unable to walk, hypothermia would have set in quickly. Rescue would have been hours away. We were lucky.
Facing insurmountable odds, can you find a way to keep going because the consequences of failure are unacceptable?
Let’s move on to epic survival situations—think Ernest Shackleton and his crew of twenty-seven men attempting to reach the South Pole. Their ship Endurance was crushed between two ice floes and had ultimately sunk.
This was 1915, with no means to call for a rescue. They were able to save three of the lifeboats and rowed 150 miles across open ocean to Elephant Island. Shackleton made the decision to set sail from there in a 22-ft lifeboat for Georgia Island with six crew members—800 nautical miles away. The rest of the men remained on the island for four and a half months, completely isolated, with no idea whether or not or when they might be rescued. They lived on seal, penguin, and seaweed. 128 days after the Endurance had sunk, Shackleton reached Georgia Island, and returned for his crew. Shackleford and his men survived because the consequences of giving up were unacceptable.
Unlike the previous scenarios, the end point for some endeavors isn’t so definitive.
When do you know you’ve moved past a divorce? At what point do you stop grieving a pet loss? In the movie "Forrest Gump," at mile marker 13 on Route 163 in Monument Valley, Forrest said he was “pretty tired” and decided it was time to go home. He had crossed the country several times. His mama had told him, “Put the past behind you before you move on.” He realized he’d reached closure for losing his wife, Jennie.
Then there’s the “oh well, who cares, it’s not important” perspective.
Cousin Bruce offers a simplistic approach: “It is okay to quit anything, at any time, for absolutely no reason whatsoever.” This might take practice to do guilt-free, however.
Second Chances
So what if you don’t climb the mountain? Or finish knitting that sweater for Aunt Martha, or ace the test, or get all the notes right performing Rachmaninov’s Prelude in C Minor—it’s okay!
Everyday challenges are rarely life-threatening, or dramatic, so take heart. If you rise to the occasion and meet the challenge, great! If you don’t? Most of the time, you get a do-over. The Buffalo Bills have lost the Superbowl four times, yet they’re training to win in 2026. Edison conducted 1,200 experiments before finding the right design for a lightbulb. Michael Jordon was cut from his high school basketball team.
What circumstance has presented a challenge to you, what was the outcome, and how did the outcome affect you going forward?
Next up: “Fraud Police”
That photo of the excavator with the shipping container is incredible... mind blowing.